i'm f**king annoyed with my parents..f**king annoyed. ugh...they're so annoying. they manage to ruin happy times..and might i add..the first time i'm feeling truly happy in quite awhile.. sheesh..i feel like a f**king convict..the only difference is the convict has a solid lock..which comes with a key..and the hope that he may be free someday. me? my lock is invisible..and the only hope of freedom for me is if i were to be married..even then..i'm not too sure my parents will ever give up their stranglehold. that's precisely what it is..a stranglehold..f**king suffocating. i've never flown a kite because of whom? you! i can't cycle properly because of whom? you! i can't swim properly because of whom? YOU!!!!! (and u're worried i may drown..gees..i wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that u've never taught me to swim..and i can't swim properly.) I dun f**king care anymore..i'm gonna learn how to swim properly..why shld i remain so docile? i'm 18!!!! i wonder if u've noticed the independence..or responsibility i have undoubtedly shown over the yrs. i'm fairly certain my dad is worried that the day he lets his guard down for just a second..i'm gonna run wild and lose my virgity and stay out till 5am. he's convinced that orchard is filled with hooligans..all of whom..wanna entice me to join them in their misdemeanours. he's also convinced that jason and i cannot be left on our own.. i'm beginning to wonder if anything in cigarettes cause massive, prolonged and outta-this-world hallucinations.
my mum..on the other hand..thinks that i have no sense. that i pick hooligan friends. that i am stupid enough to pick up smoking. she thinks i'm desperate to ruin my life thruogh sex, drugs and smoke. that i am desperate for my lungs to be filled up with the amt of tar in that box on the road. that i'm despearate to become an unwed mother. she's convinced that my education so far has done nothing but inculcate these stupid notions in my head. the irony of it all..considering my mum is the one who insists on good grades. who thinks that failing econs is tantamount to the end of the world.
trust is beyond them. they've never experienced trust..or understood that exhibition of some amounts of trust speaks volumes. it shouldn't matter to me because it's a mutual thing. i don't trust them very much either. they don't trust each other much, my mother esp.
if the world is as they've painted it to be..well..i'm just glad i have my world. my world consists of friends i have chosen for myself..my world is shaped by my choices..and till now..i've been fairly satisfied with my choices..and it shall continue to be the case. I know what's best for ME, not YOU.
